Getting over the Fear of Rejection as a Relator

After you pass your real estate licensing exam, the excitement to work with your first client will be tangible. Your sitting at your desk and the phone rings, a buyer is on the line! Even better, you know of a home that fits all of their desires. Two days later, you are standing with your new clients in the kitchen of what you believe to be their dream home. You assume this is a done deal, the home is fresh on the market and won't last long so, you decide to ask the question. 'When would you like to move forward with the house?' To your surprise, the family looks at you and says, 'We don't think this is for us.'

When deciding to become a realtor, most do not consider the reality of being told no. For some, when met with rejection for the first time a career change comes to mind. Why? Rejection is painful and scary. 

Being told no takes a heavy toll on our self-esteem. More often than not, we link our self-worth to our relationship to the outside world. Our brain believes life depends on connection and when we don't feel accepted our bodies react as if trying to avoid death. Obviously, we are not going to die when we receive a no, but the fear we harbor around rejection is still there, showing itself through elevated heart rate, stomach cramps, and sweating. 

Getting over the Fear of Rejection as a Relator

So, what do we do? Rejection is not going anywhere; it is a part of our daily experience. As a realtor, livelihood is dependent on the ability to face objections without running the other way. 

Here are a few 'in the moment' tactics for overcoming fear.

Imagine how you would like to feel. 

Stop a moment and remind yourself how you would like to be feeling in the situation in which you find yourself. Fear is not on that list. Remind yourself that you are a confident and competent human being. 

Distrust your opinion, sometimes.

Sometimes we are our own worst critics. Most times your fear is unwarranted. You cannot tell the future, so it is silly to live in a reality that hasn't happened. 

Remember you won't die.

When experiencing rejection your brain will act as if a tiger were chasing you, in reality, the threat isn't there. Remind yourself that you are not facing any bodily harm. 

If these tactics do not work for you, try desensitizing yourself.

Some experts believe that you can desensitize your reaction to rejection. By putting yourself in various rejections situations, your brain will slowly realize you are not in any actual danger. Eventually, the negative side effects experienced when faced with objections will fade out. 

Jia Jiang put this theory to the test and recently appeared on TEDTalks with his results. For one hundred days Jiang approached a stranger each day to ask a question he believed would he thought would end in rejection. For example, his first day he asked a man on the street if he could have $100. Terrified, Jiang ran before the man could answer.

Through Jiang's talk, he explains that the more he exposed himself to rejection the easier it was for him to handle. By the end of the one hundred days, Jiang was able to stay engaged after being told no and questioned the strangers further without reservation. By staying present and persistent, he was able to work through objections and in some cases, get his requests. For more information watch the full TEDTalk: What I learned for 100 days of Rejection.

Getting over the Fear of Rejection as a Relator

Objections will be something each one of us face, but it doesn't have to create fear that most of us experience. Being told no is an opportunity when seen in the right light. Next time you find yourself in rejection crisis meltdown, remember this does not have to be your reality. Use these tips to free yourself from fear. Don't give up when presented with an objection. Stay persistent, and you will succeed. 

Thanks for reading! My name is Monica Politte and I work for Capital Land Settlements, a Title Company. Check out more here!